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August 31, 2018

Consistency and Routine: Tips for Single Parents on Managing a Household

Consistency and Routine: Tips for Single Parents on Managing a Household


When single parents say they don't have a moment to themselves, they're not kidding. Between the demands of work, raising healthy and happy children, maintaining a home, and taking care of themselves, single moms and dads very rarely have time to just hang out or chanel surf for a couple hours each night. There are countless details to worry about, from making sure the kids' homework gets done, to cooking and getting everyone to bed on time. When you're going it alone, it doesn't take much to feel overwhelmed, especially if you don't have a support network to help when the going gets rough. Keeping a consistent routine that everyone follows and contributes to can help make it all work.


Consistency
Kids need the security and normality of a routine schedule. It helps them make sense of the world around them (especially those whose parents are newly divorced), provides a feeling of security, and makes it easier to maintain discipline. If your children know that homework's to be done by dinner time every day, there's less likely to be a misunderstanding, and it's easier to hold them to that expectation if everyone knows what's expected.
If things are a little too chaotic in the evening, try arranging a regular evening schedule that incorporates homework, dinner, TV/computer/recreation time, and bedtime. Involve the kids in preparing dinner and cleaning up afterward so they have a sense of ownership and responsibility. Organize and declutter each room, arranging closets and keeping the bathroom in good order so things don't get lost.

Discipline
It can be very hard for single parents to maintain discipline, particularly if their partner usually took the lead in that area. Kids can get confused or become angry when discipline is applied by a parent they've always seen as the nurturer, or caregiver. That's why it's important that divorced parents work together to establish ground rules. Set behavioral boundaries so your kids know where to draw the line and to let them know you believe they're capable of understanding how far is too far. If there's one thing that kids, especially little ones, hate it's having to sit still. Use the "time out" as a tactic to enforce discipline, a no-play interval during which they have to be absolutely quiet and do as they're told. Taking away privileges is another effective behavior-modifying approach.

Finances
For many single parents, money is tight and needs to be carefully managed. This may come easier to some people than others; it's not something everyone's good at, though there's no denying its importance. Start with the basics: make a budget to help you get a handle on how much you're spending for each household need. Consider every expenditure, from mortgage or rent to candy money for the kids. Carefully monitor your checking account and any savings you have and be very careful with credit card expenditures, especially now that you're a single-parent household. Money may be tight, but try to save where you can. Three or four months' worth of savings can help you prepare for emergencies, at least in the short term.

Isolation
Single parents often feel lonely, having no one to help make decisions or to sort things out when the kids start fighting. Trying to find a little "me" time just to escape for a while and gather your thoughts may seem an impossible task. Reach out to friends or family, anyone you know well who could help out for an evening here and there. If money's tight, try saving for a babysitter so you can enjoy dinner out with friends now and then or just spend some quiet time at your favorite coffee shop.
You're not alone


Being a single parent doesn't mean you always have to shoulder the burden alone. Assign your kids tasks throughout the week so they can help out, spend an hour or so sharing your frustrations with a good friend, and make time for family fun on the weekends. And remember to take care of yourself by getting enough sleep and eating right.


Courtesy of Pixabay

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